Homeschooling becomes a fun journey when you use everyday life lessons for teaching.

Last summer we started a fun unit on gardening. We sifted soil, tested it, and found that we have really crappy soil. Great for weeds, horrible for anything else.

Two years ago we positioned a larger pool on top of the grass, that was in our backyard. As you can imagine, all the grass died around that area. Since then, the only thing that has been growing in that area is weeds.

My husband wants a garden so badly, but the amount of work to create an ideal atmosphere for the plants to grow, is very daunting. Isn’t that like our lives though?

If I were to compare my heart to soil, like Jesus did in the Parable of the Sower, I would see that my heart’s soil needs a fair amount of work. The Fruit of the Spirit isn’t what always grows in my heart. Thank you Father for your grace and mercy!

I heard a sermon once on this topic, and the pastor used an acronym for Dirt, and it has stuck with me.

D – Disappointment
I – Insecurity
R – Rejection
T – Trouble

In his sermon, he brought out the concept that in order for Dirt to be conducive for growth, there needs to be death and quite a bit of yucky stuff in it. In relation to our heart’s soil, we need to face the yuck. The trying times, the rejections, and the troubles, for our heart to produce the fruit we are wanting.

That truth isn’t something we really want to hear, we typically want the happy. But if we go back to our gardening illustration, we are fully aware at the amount of work a farmer does before he plants the seed.

So this week, I am leaning into my DIRT moments. Seeing the work that God is doing to create the Fruit, I desperately want to see.

A true identity. If you stripped away all your labels, mom, friend, wife, your work title, what would you be left with?

12 days ago, I could tell you, but I don’t know if I truly believed it for myself. I needed to allow myself to be stripped of certain things that I used, to identify myself.

Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart…”

My Heavenly Father knew me BEFORE He formed me. That means to me that I wasn’t a second thought. That He had a “need” and I was the person He planned to use to meet it. Just let that sink in for a moment.

This place we are living in, views status as success. We need to make something of ourselves. All the self improvement statements ring through my head at this moment. I have used them many times to get myself up after a blow to the ego.

Yet, I have begun to realize that no self affirmation statement, no cheer session, can work as well as truly seeing yourself in your God ordained identity.

The one that has, already the Highest Authority’s approval all over it. The one that says, “I bought you with my life, because I love you.” The very Creator that saw you, before He ever made you. I don’t know about you, but no approval from anyone else is needed.

To be complete, approved of, loved, before I even reach a successful status, makes everything else fade into the distance.

I pray you see yourself in the same loving sight. That you are a treasure. His inheritance. No works are needed to achieve this status.

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
Ephesians 1:18 NLT

I recently was reading a book by Ted Dekker. Typically his books are on the scary/suspenseful side. So, I was surprised when Truth was hitting me hard as I read.

In this particular book, a girl is on a mission to save two worlds. However, the only way she will be able to save these two worlds is to find 5 seals of Truth. They are truths that she has to know deep down and understand for herself. Then, and only then, will she be able to help other people.

Wouldn’t you know, one of those truths focused on her identity issue. At one point in the book, she gets transformed into the very thing she hates. Her failures become visible on the outside, in the form of scaly, puss oozing, grey skin. She begins this cycle of self hatred. Looking at all her failures and mistakes, realizing this mission will never be accomplished by her.

I don’t know about you, but I face days of being in this exact same state. I see the calling that is motherhood, and it is a High calling. The everyday demands can become too much. My temper can flare, despite my best efforts. I can say things that hurt my girls to the core. At the end of the day, I beat myself up with the woulda coulda shoulda game. Thinking that I am not the right mom for my girls.

In this book though, the guide that is helping this girl complete her mission, says something that has rocked my world. “Who are you?” Seems simple enough. Yet in the moment, this girl starts naming off things like failure, gross, not worthy, and others. She has forgotten who she is. He then pushes her deeper. She responds with titles, like daughter, friend, and 49th Mystic. All correct, but not yet the Truth. It takes a strong storm to finally get her to see that she is Almighty God’s Daughter.

In that identity her failures are already forgiven. In that identity she has more power than she could ever dream of, to complete the mission laid out in front of her. In that identity she has been fully approved of and loved.

This identity is what I am learning to lean more on. Yes, I am a Mom. Yes, I am a wife. Yes, I am a friend. Yes, I am a daughter. The list goes on and on. But, I cannot be any of those without removing those “masks” first, and seeing Me. The Me that is in Christ.