I recently was reading a book by Ted Dekker. Typically his books are on the scary/suspenseful side. So, I was surprised when Truth was hitting me hard as I read.
In this particular book, a girl is on a mission to save two worlds. However, the only way she will be able to save these two worlds is to find 5 seals of Truth. They are truths that she has to know deep down and understand for herself. Then, and only then, will she be able to help other people.
Wouldn’t you know, one of those truths focused on her identity issue. At one point in the book, she gets transformed into the very thing she hates. Her failures become visible on the outside, in the form of scaly, puss oozing, grey skin. She begins this cycle of self hatred. Looking at all her failures and mistakes, realizing this mission will never be accomplished by her.
I don’t know about you, but I face days of being in this exact same state. I see the calling that is motherhood, and it is a High calling. The everyday demands can become too much. My temper can flare, despite my best efforts. I can say things that hurt my girls to the core. At the end of the day, I beat myself up with the woulda coulda shoulda game. Thinking that I am not the right mom for my girls.
In this book though, the guide that is helping this girl complete her mission, says something that has rocked my world. “Who are you?” Seems simple enough. Yet in the moment, this girl starts naming off things like failure, gross, not worthy, and others. She has forgotten who she is. He then pushes her deeper. She responds with titles, like daughter, friend, and 49th Mystic. All correct, but not yet the Truth. It takes a strong storm to finally get her to see that she is Almighty God’s Daughter.
In that identity her failures are already forgiven. In that identity she has more power than she could ever dream of, to complete the mission laid out in front of her. In that identity she has been fully approved of and loved.
This identity is what I am learning to lean more on. Yes, I am a Mom. Yes, I am a wife. Yes, I am a friend. Yes, I am a daughter. The list goes on and on. But, I cannot be any of those without removing those “masks” first, and seeing Me. The Me that is in Christ.